You love designer handbags. You collect them, lust after them and treat them
better than your nearest and
dearest.
Your credit cards twitch and
flinch when the latest fashion
magazines arrive in the post,
small wimpering sounds carrying
to you gently from your purse.
You convince yourself that
you can give them up anytime,
no problem.
"It's not a problem" you tell
your friends "I can control
it".
Then you catch yourself signing
your husband up for an evening
job without his knowledge,
visions of the latest Hyanuki
creation shimmering in front
of your eyes as you fill out
his application form.
Are you an addict? Is your
habit becoming dangerous?
Will it all end in tears?
Well, if any of the following
symptoms are familiar to you
-- maybe you should consider
cutting down for a while to
a lesser brand!
1) You hear the phrases "huffing",
"shluffing" and "blopping"
and know what they mean. Even
worse, you can remember the
last time you did any of them.
2) The UPS / FEDEX delivery
men know you by your first
name and say "Hi" to you in
the street.
3) Your husband is convinced
you're having an affair with
the delivery guy as he's always
at your house!
4) The "box" room has been
renamed your "dressing room"
and you're trying to work
out which wall to knock down
to make it bigger so that
you can fit in the new closets
you'll need for all your bags.
5) Your husband is telling
you how badly damaged the
cards are and how you'll both
have to economise. All you
hear is "Of course you can
get another handbag darling.
You go choose what you want
and I'll arrange to sell a
kidney!"
6) You have to find new places
to hide your latest purchases
so that you don't have to
answer any difficult questions.
7) When you get asked about
a new bag you lie through
your teeth, claiming you've
had it for years and have
only just got it out of the
cupboard.
8) You start arguments on
purpose with your husband
/ boyfriend / whatever just
so as to have an excuse to
buy yourself a new handbag
- to cheer yourself up as
you felt so low!
9) You know exactly how much,
as a percentage, your weekly
grocery bill is as money you
can't spend on a new handbag.
10) If anyone asks what you'd
like as a birthday or xmas
pressie, you're able to hand
out a list of your desired
bags that you'd like to be
"surprised" with. The list
is categorized by 17 different
headings and is cross indexed.
11) The manager of your local
boutique phones you to advise
that they are holding a training
session for new staff and
can they please borrow some
of your bags for the session.
12) They then phone back again
and ask if you'd be prepared
to give the training session
instead.
13) Fashion magazines phone
you to ask what you think
the newest trend or design
will be for the new season.
14) Your collection is so
big - you have to use a card
index to find the bag you
need right now!
15) You walk past a field
of cows and spend the next
thirty minutes working out
in your head how many bags
and trim the herd would be
good for.
If any of these strike you
just a little too close for
comfort -- maybe you should
consider cutting down a bit?
Just don't try going cold
turkey -- it hurts like hell!
About the author:
Copyright:: Rufus Steele 2005
Rufus Steele is the author
and creator of the Louis Vuitton
website, http://www.1st-4-louis-vuitton.com-
a site dedicated to all things
Louis Vuitton
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