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How to Eliminate Bad Habits
The thought manifests as word;
The word manifests as deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its
ways with care, And let it
spring from love Born out
of concern for all beings.
The Buddha
A cocaine addict, a working
person raising a family, a
seeker practicing meditation
and service, and a highly
conscious sage all have the
same motivation: the core
drive. We all want avoidance
of suffering and permanent
Love, peace, and safety. What
separates us is our habits.
Habits rule destiny. Our life
is a sequence of habits that
determine our course and evolution.
We all have a mix of good
and bad habits. Bad habits
cause untold suffering. Good
habits serve us in the cause
of our liberation. To understand
how we got where we are and
how to change direction, we
need to understand the formation
and transformation of habits.
The seeker will need to release
the energy captured by bad
habits and transfer this power
to liberating good habits.
Any pattern of thought or
action repeated many times
results in a habit with a
corresponding neurosignature,
or brain groove. The brain
is composed of approximately
100 billion cells, called
neurons. A brain groove is
a series of interconnected
neurons that carry the thought
patterns of a particular habit.
Attention feeds the habit.
When we give our attention
to a habit, we activate the
brain groove, releasing the
thoughts, desires, and actions
related to that habit.
The good news is that the
brain is malleable. We can
change our thoughts and behavior
by recruiting new cells to
form new brain grooves. Every
thought and action is recorded
within the interconnected
nerve cells, and each repetition
adds new depth to the brain
groove. If we repeat a thought
and action enough times, a
habit is formed. Continued
repetition strengthens the
power of the habit. Inattention
and lack of repetition weakens
the power of the habit. These
principles apply to the formation
of both good and bad habits.
Positive thoughts and actions
create good habits. Negative
thoughts and actions create
harmful habits.
We can use these principles
to eliminate and replace bad
habits with good ones. We
can gradually starve bad habits
to death by not giving them
our attention. As we pay more
attention to forming a good
habit, the new brain groove
slowly gains power. Eventually,
the new positive brain groove
dominates the negative groove,
and good habits drive out
the bad. Without this transformation,
spiritual growth is impossible.
When we are assigned painful
problems in the school of
life, we need to do the homework.
All too often, however, we
play hooky by escaping into
the pleasures of a bad habit.
If we repeat this behavior,
at some point we get addicted.
We end up with the original
problem and a host of additional
difficulties associated with
addiction. Addiction leads
to wild emotions, mental storms,
paranoia, rage, humiliation,
chaotic relationships, job
loss, disease, and death.
We can avoid this by doing
our homework, by learning
how to be good pain managers.
Learning how to manage our
suffering is critical on the
spiritual path. However, most
of us slide down the path
of bad habits early in our
lives in our attempt to avoid
pain.
Bad habits include smoking,
use of drugs or alcohol, excessive
eating, compulsive gambling,
compulsive shopping, addiction
to the internet, computer
or television, addiction to
sex, money, fame, work, activity,
power, or dependency on others
at the expense of independence
and individuality (a condition
known as codependency or relationship
addiction). Although bad habits
are pleasurable in the beginning,
their eventual evolution into
emptiness and torment is inevitable
as they force us to act in
ways contrary to our true
nature. We want to express
Love, compassion, kindness,
patience, and courage.
To begin the process of transforming
bad habits to spiritual power,
we must recognize that the
pain of the bad habit is worse
than the pain of healing.
Cultivating good habits is
difficult, but it is more
difficult to maintain bad
habits.
There are hundreds of good
physical, mental, emotional,
and spiritual habits. These
fall into three categories:
1. Constructive activities
related to health, work, relationships,
recreation, or hobbies.
2. The habits of a seeker:
the spiritual methods described
in this and other spiritual
books.
3. The habits of a sage: spiritual
qualities such as Love, compassion,
forgiveness, courage, strength,
and others listed in the spiritual
alphabet.
The time to create these positive
habits is now. Every time
we repeat a thought or action
of a bad habit, it maintains
or gains power.
Procrastination weakens our
will to the point that we
think we cannot change. Before
we know it, the habit has
locked us in a prison of our
own making. We may not even
know if a habit already has
enough power to imprison us
for decades: we only discover
its power when one day we
try to stop it and find out
we cannot.
Assume a virtue if you have
it not. Refrain tonight, And
that shall lend a kind of
easiness To the next abstinence,
the next more easy; For use
almost can change the stamp
of nature, And either lodge
the devil or throw him out
With wondrous potency.
Shakespeare, Hamlet
Following is a technique for
replacing bad habits with
good, spiritual habits:
1. Introspection
2. Avoid everything associated
with the bad habit
3. Affirmations and will
4. Constructive meaningful
activities
5. The habits of a seeker
6. The habits of a sage
7. Support
8. Solitude
9. Perseverance
10.Victory
1. INTROSPECTION
Make a list of the habits
you would like to change.
Examples of bad habits include
smoking, substance abuse,
gambling, compulsive eating,
addiction to sex, computers,
money, power, work, and codependency
or addiction to people.
2. AVOID EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED
WITH THE BAD HABIT
People, environment, routines,
and our own thoughts are the
breath that gives life to
the brain groove of a bad
habit. With continued stimulation,
a bad habit grows, our will
weakens, and we slide off
the spiritual path. However,
the neurocircuit for the bad
habit remains dormant in the
subconscious if we give it
no thought or attention. We
can gain power over a bad
habit by avoiding exposure
to everything associated with
it. Stay away from the negative
environment, people, and actions
that supported the habit,
until the new brain groove
is strong. Avoid thinking
about the bad habit as much
as possible. We are subject
to craving in an instant,
if not careful. Even a passing
thought or image of the negative
habit can awaken desire. The
more we let the idea play
in our minds, the more at
risk we are of recurrent addiction.
Starve the bad habit to death
by inattention.
3. AFFIRMATIONS AND WILL
Review the lessons on affirmations
and will to see how thought
power and will power can erase
even the deepest grooves of
long standing habits. The
mind has the key that can
unlock the door of a bad habit,
as a single thought or visual
image can stimulate craving.
We need to choose our thoughts
carefully. Thoughts associated
with our bad habits do pass
through our consciousness
against our will, however.
To prevent these thoughts
from becoming action, we must
work against them. As soon
as we become aware of the
unwanted thought, we can knock
it out with will and affirmations.
We can invoke our will at
full power, deploy our favorite
affirmations, and turn to
good and spiritual actions.
These include constructive
meaningful activities, the
habits of a seeker, and the
habits of a sage.
4. ENGAGE IN CONSTRUCTIVE
MEANINGFUL ACTIVITIES
Make a list of activities
related to your work, chores,
relationships, leisure, recreation,
hobbies, and self-nurturance.
These activities are a part
of your repertoire of positive
habits. You can use these
activities to ward off the
thoughts and impulses related
to your bad habits. Such a
list might include playing
and watching sports, listening
to or playing music, television,
the Internet, movies, reading,
writing, studying, exercise,
arts and crafts, board games,
crossword or jigsaw puzzles,
gardening, paying bills, shopping,
cooking, cleaning, taking
a nap, getting a massage,
and so on.
5. CULTIVATE THE HABITS OF
A SEEKER
The habits of a seeker include
any spiritual technique that
leads to the growth of spiritual
qualities. For our purposes,
these are affirmations, will,
surrender, contemplation,
breathwork, progressive muscle
relaxation, meditation, mindfulness,
practicing the presence of
God, service, prayer, yoga,
and the transformation of
emotion.
6. CULTIVATE THE HABITS OF
A SAGE
The habits of a sage are the
spiritual qualities listed
in the spiritual alphabet.
These include Love, compassion,
understanding, forgiveness,
courage, strength, endurance,
peace, and joy.
If constructive meaningful
activities, spiritual practice,
and spiritual qualities keep
the door of the bad habit
locked, craving is kept at
bay. We are safe. On the other
hand, if despite our best
efforts, the door of bad habits
opens, the seductive music
of craving may bring us to
the brink of relapse. If this
occurs, we must surround ourselves
with people who will protect
us from negative actions.
7. SUPPORT
We need to surround ourselves
with people who support our
spiritual goals. Friends and
family associated with our
bad habits often try to pull
us back. When we move forward,
they take it personally. Moreover,
we are afraid of finding new
people. We must get through
this fear to create a supportive
network of people with like-minded
goals who act as our spiritual
bodyguards, protecting us
from ourselves in moments
of vulnerability.
8. SOLITUDE
To heal completely, we need
to practice discipline when
we are alone. This is a tall
order. Many of us are afraid
to be alone and of the unknown.
With continued practice, however,
we will gain the necessary
courage and self-control to
resist craving even when we
are alone. Then we do not
need bodyguards. Eventually,
craving ceases.
9. PERSEVERANCE
Change is difficult. Some
strong bad habits may take
years to break. Tests, trials,
and temptations come. Setbacks
occur. Back and forth movement
between old and new patterns
is a natural part of the process.
Do not give up. When you slip
and fall, be sure to create
the mental habit of gentleness
with yourself, while using
the remorse, regret, or disgust
you may feel as an incentive
to push you on to greater
efforts.
10. VICTORY
Keep feeding the positive
habit to make it stronger
and starving the negative
habit to make it weaker. Give
the best of your effort, concentration,
and attention to the new habit
until it takes over and becomes
a natural, effortless, and
automatic part of your repertoire.
Keep battling and you will
win. Craving ceases. Peace
and strength deepen. Life
becomes easier and more natural.
The ego, in its drive for
immediate gratification, gets
us into trouble with addiction
and attachment. Not only do
we lose pre-existing strength,
but spiritual qualities cannot
grow. On the other hand, our
souls yearn for Love, and
are willing to pay the price
of work and patience. As we
practice the methods of a
seeker, we reinforce the neurocircuits
containing spiritual qualities
such as Love, compassion,
understanding, strength, and
courage, until these become
unconditional habits. In the
end, we realize our true spiritual
identity by reconditioning
our brain with soul qualities.
We do not have to think about
our practice. We express the
habits of a sage, the Love
qualities, automatically,
naturally, and easily.
POINTS TO REMEMBER
* In the beginning of our
spiritual work, it may be
difficult to get traction.
We can gain momentum by setting
reasonable goals, taking small
steps, achieving modest successes,
and building from there.
* The next step in our spiritual
development is in the immediate
moments of our lives. However,
when we do not like what is
going on, we leap out of the
moment and back into an unhealthy
habit. We hypnotize and narcotize
ourselves in order to avoid
unpleasant feelings. Instead,
choose constructive, meaningful
activities and the spiritual
methods of a seeker to develop
the spiritual qualities of
a sage.
* Break bad habits of thought,
attitude, emotion, desire,
energy, and action so you
can emerge from the past and
find yourself renewed: fresh,
spontaneous, and in the moment.
AFFIRMATIONS
I can eliminate any bad habit.
I expand my will power through
practice.
With my expanded will power,
I escape from bad habits.
One by one, I eliminate all
bad habits.
Nothing can stand in my way.
Nothing can touch my will.
Nothing can shake my resolve.
My will power grows stronger
each day.
My mind is set.
Nothing can stop me.
I will succeed.
Old friends who would have
me indulge my bad habits are
out.
With will and thought, I conquer
every bad habit, one at a
time.
I am not my bad habits. My
true self is free to be warm,
compassionate, loving, and
kind.
I am stronger than any negative
desire or temptation.
No matter how many times I
fail, I will rise and conquer.
As I strengthen my body through
physical exercise, I strengthen
my will with mental exercise.
With will and thought, I cast
out this bad habit from the
neurocircuits in my brain.
With will and thought, I cultivate
the habits of a sage: Love,
peace of mind, compassion,
and strength.
EXERCISES
1. Make a list of your good
and bad habits. Which habits
would you like to change now?
2. What barriers keep you
from changing your bad habits?
3. Make a list of constructive,
meaningful activities that
you will use to avoid bad
habits.
4. What spiritual methods
would you like to practice?
5. What spiritual qualities
would you like to develop?
6. What will you do when craving
for a destructive habit returns?
7. Practice the ten steps
for replacing bad habits with
good and spiritual habits.
8. Keep a log. Each day you
can inspect the status of
your habits. Give yourself
credit for your successes.
Recognize your slips, but
do not dwell on the bad habit;
this only reinforces the associated
brain groove. Instead, cultivate
the mental habit of being
gentle with yourself while
you focus on the good habits
you are creating. In the next
section, we will study five
techniques that comprise a
morning and evening spiritual
program. These techniques
are progressive muscle relaxation,
breathwork, contemplation,
meditation, and prayer.
About the Author
Dr. Philip Shapiro is a psychiatrist,
practitioner of yoga meditation,
and author of Healing Power:
Ten Steps to Pain Management
and Spiritual Evolution. He
established the Northwest
Institute for Healing Power,
www.philipshapiro.com
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