If blame were not so dangerously pervasive, watching CNN would be laughable. I tuned in briefly to "Larry King Live" during the recent power blackouts in the Northeast and observed reporters going in the usual directions they think people want them to go. Despite a Canadian report of fire at a generating site, Larry fast-forwarded from one governor to another to ask who should be blamed and what should be done, along the way arousing the spectre of terrorism.
We are so quick to cast stones, aren't we? (I'd like to cast my next stone at Mars, which I'm almost certain is the cause of the computer snarls, house repairs, hassled and distraught loved ones, countless work delays and crummy cooking that have plagued me for the past three weeks. Only Mercury, in retrograde, has this powerful an effect on my life, so I know the culprit must be the angry red planet. Just give me a stone! I don't care how big!)
It's funny how, without realizing it, we've come to feel that it's our right and responsibility to blame and reprimand, rather than love and help others to be better--that is, when we ourselves can actually see a better way to be!
Here are seven ways to curb blame. Maybe if we slow our "loco motion," world leaders will take the cue!
1. Relax. Just before lashing out with tongue or hand, breathe and smile. This is like laughing at CNN. It takes the edge off. The longer you do this, the less you care about what the perp did or did not do. It's like granny said, "Take 10 deep breaths." After you heal your anger a few dozen times, the ego quits casting blame and plays another movie. Soon you'll have seen them all.
2. Surrender. Until the influence of Mars wears off, the scattered energies created by its steady approach to the Earth are best sustained by willing surrender and acceptance. This is a way of facing life, not only now and in dealing with blame, but always and in everything. No matter what daily life brings, no matter how difficult the task or prolonged the effort, the lesson is in the doing and the doing is the lesson. (If you repeat this to someone else, try not to sound like a Confucian astrologer!)
3. Love. Go to a meditative space and allow love to heal your pain. Only love, which contains the grace of forgiveness and acceptance, can heal pain. It is best to do this with anything that causes discord. One of my meditative writings puts it like this:
"The mind goes to what taunts and injures it, like a thorn, and the bleeding begins. If the heart goes to what needs healing, the heart of love does the healing and the mind is freed of the pain, which exists no more. Let these heal the soul, that it may ascend higher into the Light and be healed, whole and free."
4. Heal. Close your eyes and do a careful scan to see if your body and mind are tired or stressed. If so, you can restore your peace by going to a beautiful place outdoors or creating your own guided meditation. To create your own, all you have to do is focus on your breathing for awhile, thoroughly relax your body, and use all of your senses to conjure up in your mind's eye a place in nature that you especially love. See, feel, taste and smell the colors, textures and sounds of this place. Spend time luxuriating in its beauty. After only a few minutes, you will have shifted your consciousness into a lighter, happier state. A few minutes more and you'll feel like you've taken a trip to heaven. If you take time to "memorize" your happy, peaceful feelings, recalling these feelings at a later time will take you back to this peaceful state in a minute or less. Laughter restores us, too! No blame, says the "I Ching."
5. Purify. If you detect a past event that is lodged deeply inside and doesn't easily unblock, find a private place and try this exquisite exercise. Make a list of your errors and/or the wrongdoings of others and on a separate piece of paper, ask these questions of each: How was that an act of love? How did that help or serve me and others? Don't stop answering until you see the silver lining in each cloud and how it contributed to your life and helped you become the person you are today.
6. Celebrate! Listen to some beautiful music or, preferably, dance with an uptempo band like Deep Forest. This will shift the, er, weight of blame.
7. Love yourself. Do what gives you tremendous pleasure, so as to fill your cup with love and happiness. If your cup is empty, it's difficult if not impossible to love and be kind to others. Caring for yourself will uplift your heart and enable you to serve the rest of the world.
When we are surrounded by the energies of our happiness, health, positive attitudes and healing laughter, neither Mars nor any other planet--including this one!--can disturb our peace. From a place of peace, we cast no stone and are invulnerable to stones cast by others.
Copyright © 2005 Judith Pennington
About Judith: Judith Pennington is a writer and teacher of consciousness development and the step-by-step path to enlightened mastery. She is the author of a critically acclaimed book, "The Voice of the Soul," and presents workshops across the country. Visit her website, www.eaglelife.com, to check for an event near you, sign up for her free e-newsletter and read articles on how to attain peace, joy and prosperity.